We gathered together - there were five of us
each with a job to do;
one to Love, one to Heal,
the rest to follow through
with Hope and Faith and Compassion
to ease the woes of all;
to see to needs before they rose,
to answer mankind's call.
Throughout the ages we have been
God's Divine and Living Light.
For eternity we've guided souls
through their darkest fears and nights.
When we are in service to all those
in anguish and distress
it is our deepest honor
and when we feel most blessed.
For in the core of every soul
there dwells the Living Light -
the presence of God's spirit,
the flame of eternal life.
This Living Light we cherish.
We encourage it to shine.
It connects us all to one another,
through the bond of Love Divine.
So, whenever you feel troubled,
in confusion or despair
open your heart to welcome us;
in that instant we are there.
We'll bring to you our touch of peace,
our caress of serenity.
In stillness and in silence
we'll give all we can be.
You may not see our golden light
or hear the flutter of our wings
but if you listen with your soul
you'll hear the angels sing.
(c) 8/13/2006
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Weave of Our Lives
Nothing in our lives happens in a vacuum. Nothing stands alone. From any moment in your life, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you can follow the threads backwards that connect it to all other moments. At this moment realize that you wouldn’t be here, doing what you’re doing if all the prior moments’ actions and circumstances hadn’t occurred. You can play the “If/then” game to see this. “If that hadn’t happened, then this wouldn’t have resulted and I wouldn’t have done what I did.” If any moment in your life had been different than what it was, the resulting actions and reactions would have been different too. The circumstances would have changed and life would be very different from what it is right now. So, every moment – every instant that has passed in your life has resulted in your being who you are, and in your doing what you’re doing at this precise moment.
But, your life hasn’t stood alone. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Every person in your life and in the world has a fabric of moments and actions, events and circumstances woven behind him. Every instant that has passed in every other person’s life has made him precisely who he is and has affected what he is doing at this very moment. The passage of their every moment led to the instant the weave of their fabric of life intersected yours. As threads are woven, they mesh with one another.
You can take any point - any moment in life and un-weave all the moments that led up to it; and you can branch out in countless directions from each moment in the life of each person to the countless moments of the countless lives of others. Nothing stands alone. How many generations of interwoven moments and lives and circumstances and choices have led precisely to this one? The weave is seamless. We're all connected in infinite ways so thoroughly that if one thread were pulled, the entire fabric would unravel. This has allowed me to see that my life has been affected, in some way, by a housewife who lived in Persia in 1300 B.C. or a blacksmith in Philadelphia in 1812 or an airline pilot who is right now landing his plane on a runway at an international airport.
But, the weave of life gets far more complex than every moment being connected to every other moment. We are more than just a collection or a result of all our passing moments. We experience each moment of our existence whether or not we're aware of experiencing anything at all. Each experience colors our perceptions and has an effect on not just what we think, but how we think. Our perceptions color the way we remember every prior moment, and the way we anticipate or prepare for every future moment. The way we think affects our every action and reaction. So, if any one person who has ever had any effect on your life had ever done or perceived any one thing any differently, then the way you perceive your life right now and the way you would create your future moments would be totally different.
In this manner, we create our lives. With every action, there’s an altered perception. With every altered perception, there’s another choice for our actions. Every action affects every other living being and every perception. And, every living being affects every other living being. This change is constant and is the “flow of life.”
What is the speed of thought? How quickly do thoughts color our actions, and actions color our thoughts and perceptions? Thoughts are energies, unbound by size or distance or the pull of gravity or the appearance of light or the density of matter. How quickly are our thoughts created and manifested, observed and reacted to and passed on, in some manner, to another's perceptions and resulting experiences? As creators, we all create the flow of life. As infinite creators, we create its infinite flow – instantly ever changing.
So, Be who you truly Are. The light of your being will travel around the world in the blink of an eye and will affect for all time to come, all that will pass.
(c) 4/27/2008
Ronnie Carroll
But, your life hasn’t stood alone. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Every person in your life and in the world has a fabric of moments and actions, events and circumstances woven behind him. Every instant that has passed in every other person’s life has made him precisely who he is and has affected what he is doing at this very moment. The passage of their every moment led to the instant the weave of their fabric of life intersected yours. As threads are woven, they mesh with one another.
You can take any point - any moment in life and un-weave all the moments that led up to it; and you can branch out in countless directions from each moment in the life of each person to the countless moments of the countless lives of others. Nothing stands alone. How many generations of interwoven moments and lives and circumstances and choices have led precisely to this one? The weave is seamless. We're all connected in infinite ways so thoroughly that if one thread were pulled, the entire fabric would unravel. This has allowed me to see that my life has been affected, in some way, by a housewife who lived in Persia in 1300 B.C. or a blacksmith in Philadelphia in 1812 or an airline pilot who is right now landing his plane on a runway at an international airport.
But, the weave of life gets far more complex than every moment being connected to every other moment. We are more than just a collection or a result of all our passing moments. We experience each moment of our existence whether or not we're aware of experiencing anything at all. Each experience colors our perceptions and has an effect on not just what we think, but how we think. Our perceptions color the way we remember every prior moment, and the way we anticipate or prepare for every future moment. The way we think affects our every action and reaction. So, if any one person who has ever had any effect on your life had ever done or perceived any one thing any differently, then the way you perceive your life right now and the way you would create your future moments would be totally different.
In this manner, we create our lives. With every action, there’s an altered perception. With every altered perception, there’s another choice for our actions. Every action affects every other living being and every perception. And, every living being affects every other living being. This change is constant and is the “flow of life.”
What is the speed of thought? How quickly do thoughts color our actions, and actions color our thoughts and perceptions? Thoughts are energies, unbound by size or distance or the pull of gravity or the appearance of light or the density of matter. How quickly are our thoughts created and manifested, observed and reacted to and passed on, in some manner, to another's perceptions and resulting experiences? As creators, we all create the flow of life. As infinite creators, we create its infinite flow – instantly ever changing.
So, Be who you truly Are. The light of your being will travel around the world in the blink of an eye and will affect for all time to come, all that will pass.
(c) 4/27/2008
Ronnie Carroll
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Dear Mom (a poem for Mother's Day)
Dear Mom,
Today I cleaned my apartment
and I pulled from my bookshelves
an old diary covered with dust.
I took a break from my work
to spend a few minutes
re-reading some of the passages
I had written years ago.
But, the minutes
stretched into hours
as I poured over the cramped
and smeared handwriting
of my yesterdays.
Memories flooded my head
and my heart
as a passage here and there
caught my eye.
I only wrote about the events
of the day
and nothing special ever happened.
But, I was living and growing
and changing.
And only occasionally
I mentioned you.
"By the way -
Mom fixed a great supper tonight."
Then I'd say no more.
The passage would end
and I'd move on to another day -
another week.
"I forgot Mom's birthday yesterday.
I wonder if she noticed."
Now the years have passed
and they find me all grown up,
living on my own, and being
self-sufficient independent.
But, I'm sitting on the floor
softly crying -
crying for all those days
of frustrations, of angers,
of misunderstandings.
But I'm smiling too, because
Mom, you're beautiful
and I love you.
And I ache inside for
wanting to tell you -
for all those times
I may have forgotten
or failed to notice.
And, is it really fair to take
only one day of the year
to say Happy Mother's Day?
I know that a mother is thanked
many times over
when she sees her children
happy, healthy and productive.
But, these returns seem
so inadequate a thanks
for all those special gifts
a mother gives her children.
So, Mom, let me say again,
I love you.
And knowing that love
is God's most sacred gift
to humanity,
I give you all I have.
Happy Mother's Day
today,
and all your tomorrows.
(c) 1977
Ronnie
Today I cleaned my apartment
and I pulled from my bookshelves
an old diary covered with dust.
I took a break from my work
to spend a few minutes
re-reading some of the passages
I had written years ago.
But, the minutes
stretched into hours
as I poured over the cramped
and smeared handwriting
of my yesterdays.
Memories flooded my head
and my heart
as a passage here and there
caught my eye.
I only wrote about the events
of the day
and nothing special ever happened.
But, I was living and growing
and changing.
And only occasionally
I mentioned you.
"By the way -
Mom fixed a great supper tonight."
Then I'd say no more.
The passage would end
and I'd move on to another day -
another week.
"I forgot Mom's birthday yesterday.
I wonder if she noticed."
Now the years have passed
and they find me all grown up,
living on my own, and being
self-sufficient independent.
But, I'm sitting on the floor
softly crying -
crying for all those days
of frustrations, of angers,
of misunderstandings.
But I'm smiling too, because
Mom, you're beautiful
and I love you.
And I ache inside for
wanting to tell you -
for all those times
I may have forgotten
or failed to notice.
And, is it really fair to take
only one day of the year
to say Happy Mother's Day?
I know that a mother is thanked
many times over
when she sees her children
happy, healthy and productive.
But, these returns seem
so inadequate a thanks
for all those special gifts
a mother gives her children.
So, Mom, let me say again,
I love you.
And knowing that love
is God's most sacred gift
to humanity,
I give you all I have.
Happy Mother's Day
today,
and all your tomorrows.
(c) 1977
Ronnie
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Remembering Love
We go through many phases during our journeys of life. There is no set time, place or circumstance that defines them; when they occur or how long they last or what triggers them, but we know they happen. We feel them. Some of these phases overlap while others are separated by great lengths of time. Perhaps we recall a period of time in our childhood that seemed more magical than any other time, or we experienced a summer like none other. Maybe we lived in a house or neighborhood where our fondness of it went far beyond physical appearances or personal tastes. The time or place or friend we knew had that certain "something extra" - unnamed but far more real than anything else we had experienced.
Then, that magic seemed to fade. Years passed and we grew out of childhood. The summer ended. We moved away from the beloved home. We lost track of the friend. We might have experienced a change of fortune in our lives that pulled us from one phase to another. Sometimes we slip in and out of these phases so subtly that we're not entirely aware of the energies of them or the differences they make in our lives until we see them in retrospect and suddenly notice that they have changed or disappeared.
There may be other phases of our lives that we're not even aware of having forgotten until something triggers our memories; the re-appearance of an old friend, stumbling across an old photograph or resurrecting a long lost souvenir. Memories of these times will flood our minds. Emotions may overwhelm us. A resurgence of unnamed feelings may engulf us. Often, as we reflect on those times, we slip back into the energies of them and re-experience the ambiances that made them so special. These are the energies of Love.
Our souls never forget them, even after many lifetimes.
It is the energy of Love that allows you to recognize a friend whom you have never before met in a crowd of strangers. It is the energy of Love that makes you feel like you've at last come home to that place you are visiting for the first time. These energies of Love are the unbreakable threads of our spiritual lives that bond us to one another and to all things. Whenever we act upon this Love, whether or not we can explain or justify our actions, we have responded to the energies of Love and have integrated them into our consciousness. These memories of Love serve as our portals to recognition. We remember the feelings, we recognize them, and we come to understand that we can experience them again.
With each conscious recognition of what we remember, we more fully integrate it into ourselves and into our way of being. We are weavers, weaving the threads of the energies of Love throughout every fiber of our beings and we come to recognize that there are many threads. The feelings associated with that special summer are different than the ones associated with our dearest friends or favorite pieces of music, or most inspiring vistas of nature. Yet all resonate with the same core energy - the energy of Love.
When the darkness, the noise, or confusion of our lives seems to overwhelm us, we long for what we once had. We think of it as "the good old days;" the lost morality of society or the serenity of undisturbed nature or the innocence of childhood. We yearn for what we no longer experience. We seek the experience through meditation or volunteer work or through donating time, money, or belongings to charities. We host reunions. We attend celebrations. We attach our own special significance to holidays. We dedicate ourselves to our families. We tap into that Love; we revel in it. It becomes our own experience for it is our resonance with those threads that we are weaving throughout our beings. Our experience of Love wells up from within us, not from our external surroundings.
And we remember.
The energies of Love have never been lost. This recognition becomes our way of knowing as we pull those threads - those energies up through our beings and begin to express them. As we allow these energies to flow once again from the core of ourselves, we experience Peace, Love and Joy again in our lives and it becomes who we Are. As it flows, we express it with every person we meet and every moment we experience. This is our Divinity and our Birthright of Nobility. The source of who we are is infinite. The more we remember, recognize, experience, and give, the more we have.
So, Be this flow of Love. Allow your light to shine. As you do, you become a conduit of Love for all others to experience and remember. You are that which you know. You are Divine.
And So It Is.
(c) 3/17/2007
Then, that magic seemed to fade. Years passed and we grew out of childhood. The summer ended. We moved away from the beloved home. We lost track of the friend. We might have experienced a change of fortune in our lives that pulled us from one phase to another. Sometimes we slip in and out of these phases so subtly that we're not entirely aware of the energies of them or the differences they make in our lives until we see them in retrospect and suddenly notice that they have changed or disappeared.
There may be other phases of our lives that we're not even aware of having forgotten until something triggers our memories; the re-appearance of an old friend, stumbling across an old photograph or resurrecting a long lost souvenir. Memories of these times will flood our minds. Emotions may overwhelm us. A resurgence of unnamed feelings may engulf us. Often, as we reflect on those times, we slip back into the energies of them and re-experience the ambiances that made them so special. These are the energies of Love.
Our souls never forget them, even after many lifetimes.
It is the energy of Love that allows you to recognize a friend whom you have never before met in a crowd of strangers. It is the energy of Love that makes you feel like you've at last come home to that place you are visiting for the first time. These energies of Love are the unbreakable threads of our spiritual lives that bond us to one another and to all things. Whenever we act upon this Love, whether or not we can explain or justify our actions, we have responded to the energies of Love and have integrated them into our consciousness. These memories of Love serve as our portals to recognition. We remember the feelings, we recognize them, and we come to understand that we can experience them again.
With each conscious recognition of what we remember, we more fully integrate it into ourselves and into our way of being. We are weavers, weaving the threads of the energies of Love throughout every fiber of our beings and we come to recognize that there are many threads. The feelings associated with that special summer are different than the ones associated with our dearest friends or favorite pieces of music, or most inspiring vistas of nature. Yet all resonate with the same core energy - the energy of Love.
When the darkness, the noise, or confusion of our lives seems to overwhelm us, we long for what we once had. We think of it as "the good old days;" the lost morality of society or the serenity of undisturbed nature or the innocence of childhood. We yearn for what we no longer experience. We seek the experience through meditation or volunteer work or through donating time, money, or belongings to charities. We host reunions. We attend celebrations. We attach our own special significance to holidays. We dedicate ourselves to our families. We tap into that Love; we revel in it. It becomes our own experience for it is our resonance with those threads that we are weaving throughout our beings. Our experience of Love wells up from within us, not from our external surroundings.
And we remember.
The energies of Love have never been lost. This recognition becomes our way of knowing as we pull those threads - those energies up through our beings and begin to express them. As we allow these energies to flow once again from the core of ourselves, we experience Peace, Love and Joy again in our lives and it becomes who we Are. As it flows, we express it with every person we meet and every moment we experience. This is our Divinity and our Birthright of Nobility. The source of who we are is infinite. The more we remember, recognize, experience, and give, the more we have.
So, Be this flow of Love. Allow your light to shine. As you do, you become a conduit of Love for all others to experience and remember. You are that which you know. You are Divine.
And So It Is.
(c) 3/17/2007
Soul's Dance
and we dance on graves
where forgotten dreams
we keep.
We dance in sin
and dance in love
and dance on through
our sleep.
We time our steps in rhythm to
the beatings of
our hearts.
With practiced moves
and charade of show
through all our stops and starts.
Until the day our spirits stir
and lead us on a chase
past the ritual of practiced steps,
footloose,
all o'er the place.
And on the day our spirits soar
and cause our feet
to fly,
we learn the truth
we're longing for -
we only dream we dream we die.
(c) 2/27/2007
Friday, April 18, 2008
And This With Love (a poem for eulogies)
Even as I dwelt among you
I knew the time would come
to close a chapter I had opened
on life and all things done.
Knowing that my days were counted
I chose my life to be
a reflection of my spirit's calling
through friends and family.
I called all I met a special friend
and all I loved my own.
I knew that when we bonded in love
we never walked alone.
I lived my life with full acceptance
of the joy I knew was mine -
that by giving of myself to others
God's light in us would shine.
I chose all manners of expression
in the things I loved to do
and the sharing of each moment
was special between me and you.
And so with love I lived
and now with love it ends
and too with love I say farewell
to my family and my friends.
But don't think that I have left you
for in you I'll always be
a spark of light, a touch of love
and a living memory.
I have no regrets in passing
now that my time on earth is done
for in this walk with God I know
my journey has just begun.
This is my greatest walk in life;
my spirit free to roam,
with life more than I ever knew
as now I journey home.
(c) 12/09/2006
I knew the time would come
to close a chapter I had opened
on life and all things done.
Knowing that my days were counted
I chose my life to be
a reflection of my spirit's calling
through friends and family.
I called all I met a special friend
and all I loved my own.
I knew that when we bonded in love
we never walked alone.
I lived my life with full acceptance
of the joy I knew was mine -
that by giving of myself to others
God's light in us would shine.
I chose all manners of expression
in the things I loved to do
and the sharing of each moment
was special between me and you.
And so with love I lived
and now with love it ends
and too with love I say farewell
to my family and my friends.
But don't think that I have left you
for in you I'll always be
a spark of light, a touch of love
and a living memory.
I have no regrets in passing
now that my time on earth is done
for in this walk with God I know
my journey has just begun.
This is my greatest walk in life;
my spirit free to roam,
with life more than I ever knew
as now I journey home.
(c) 12/09/2006
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Today, I Heard a Bird Sing
Today, I heard a bird sing. That's nothing surprising. It's spring. There are lots of birds singing everywhere. But, today, I heard the song of a bird that pulled me back to the memories and feelings of something I had experienced years ago. My mind said, "That was years ago, not now." My heart said, "The energies are still real; it is still your experience."
At about 1:30 a.m. on the 9th of October 2004, my husband died (transitioned). It was a very quiet, gentle passage but one that left me in shock because he was my husband. I drove home from the hospital on autopilot, sat on the sofa, and waited for the night to pass; at times, afraid to move, afraid to breathe for fear it would shatter my suddenly fragile world and I'd get sucked into a void of nothingness. My only thought was, "What do you do when someone dies? You go home." I had no thoughts beyond the "going home" and of simply Being.
The night passed and the sun rose to a dreary day. Still, my world was fragile and silent. But, there was a softness to it too that held me in an embrace of gentility and comfort - there for me to fall into should I no longer be able to keep the transparency of life from shattering. It didn't shatter after all. I slowly came back to an awareness beyond my own self, drawn by the song of a bird - a single bird, heralding the dawn of light.
There was something deeply comforting in that stillness that I cannot name. But, I do know that from the stillness I began a journey into tremendous, awe-inspiring, profoundly beautiful and exciting spiritual growth and awareness. Through the passage of years since, I have experienced great love and joy and peace beyond anything I'd ever imagined in my life. So, today, when I heard the bird sing, I was reminded that no matter how dark our journey becomes or how fragile it feels, there is something that always supports us - through our darkest moments and our greatest isolation.
We are never alone. We are profoundly loved.
No matter how senseless existence may seem or how large the crisis is that's looming ahead of us, we'll get through it. By our survival of it, it becomes a turning point and a new perspective from which we approach all other things. To that bird I say, "Thank you. Thank you for reminding me of that silence and stillness and the gentility of being loved."
Stay soft.
With Light & Love,
Ronnie
At about 1:30 a.m. on the 9th of October 2004, my husband died (transitioned). It was a very quiet, gentle passage but one that left me in shock because he was my husband. I drove home from the hospital on autopilot, sat on the sofa, and waited for the night to pass; at times, afraid to move, afraid to breathe for fear it would shatter my suddenly fragile world and I'd get sucked into a void of nothingness. My only thought was, "What do you do when someone dies? You go home." I had no thoughts beyond the "going home" and of simply Being.
The night passed and the sun rose to a dreary day. Still, my world was fragile and silent. But, there was a softness to it too that held me in an embrace of gentility and comfort - there for me to fall into should I no longer be able to keep the transparency of life from shattering. It didn't shatter after all. I slowly came back to an awareness beyond my own self, drawn by the song of a bird - a single bird, heralding the dawn of light.
There was something deeply comforting in that stillness that I cannot name. But, I do know that from the stillness I began a journey into tremendous, awe-inspiring, profoundly beautiful and exciting spiritual growth and awareness. Through the passage of years since, I have experienced great love and joy and peace beyond anything I'd ever imagined in my life. So, today, when I heard the bird sing, I was reminded that no matter how dark our journey becomes or how fragile it feels, there is something that always supports us - through our darkest moments and our greatest isolation.
We are never alone. We are profoundly loved.
No matter how senseless existence may seem or how large the crisis is that's looming ahead of us, we'll get through it. By our survival of it, it becomes a turning point and a new perspective from which we approach all other things. To that bird I say, "Thank you. Thank you for reminding me of that silence and stillness and the gentility of being loved."
Stay soft.
With Light & Love,
Ronnie
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Cycle of One
He stood before me
poised on the edge of eternity…
balanced between two worlds.
He was a man – nothing more.
He felt no shame for what he might have been,
or fear for what he could become.
One step backward
would whisk him into a world
of drums and dance,
prairie fires and buffalo hunts
and to the life his forefathers
knew as the freedom of challenge
and the reality of a
do-or-die existence.
One step forward
would hurl him into a world
of neon lights,
traffic jams and sidewalk cafes
and to the life his children
knew as the modern beat of progress
and the grind, the grind
of civilization.
He was eternal.
he was a window to the past
and a door to the future.
When he bid me welcome to his circle
to sit and talk a while,
his words were kind and true.
In the rhythm of his harmony
I heard the voice of a People.
“We are Blackfoot.
We are the children
of the sun and earth and sky.
We share the cycle of the living
in all things that have gone before
and in all things that will come.
From all that has passed, we’ve taken
and to all that will pass, we give.”
He stretched his arm before him,
to the line where the earth met sky,
and held the setting sun
on the palm of his hand.
“This was once our land as far
as your eye can see.
It did not belong to us,
we belonged to it.
“We are of the prairie,
of the rain and grass
and brother to the wolf and buffalo.
We are as one to all things –
a circle without beginning or end –
the cycle of life – of being.
Of all, God is made.
In all, God IS.
There is no good or bad to these things.
There is no right or wrong.
There is only truth, for all things ARE.
We are.
We are the reality of truth
in the eternity of now.
The past lives only in our memories.
The future waits only in our vision.
We do not turn our backs on one
as we look to the other.
For every thing we see and do and hear
makes us what we are.
And every thing we know and dream and feel
makes us what we become.
For the things that have gone and will come,
we thank the Creator for these gifts.
…And these are our ways…”
When his story ended
I listened to the echo of his soul.
His voice of silence spoke
with far greater clarity
than all the words of the world.
And he stood before me centered and alone.
But, he was not alone.
He was bound as I am bound
to the cycle of all things that ARE.
In the wisdom that he shared
he gave to me a vision.
He did not show me something to believe in.
He gave me the key to unlock the secrets
of what I had always known.
©1994
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Tidbits
This post is a continually growing and changing collection of my philosophies. I call them "tidbits" as I try to keep them short. I've arranged the separate entries on this post in chronological sequence; the most recent addition is at the top so you don't have to scroll through all of them to read my latest. My earlier entries are undated.
No matter how brightly our light shines, we cannot make another person see it. The most we can do is to be that light at the end of their tunnel-vision. (12/13/2008)
If ego is the false self, what other than a false reality does it have to offer? (11/28/08)
At some point along the way, you will notice that your process of spiritual growth has changed from a quest of discovery to a discovery of knowing. (10/12/08)
When you take a real cynical view of things, the political and socioeconomic structure of this country makes a lot of sense. (9/01/08)
Anger is our first defense against fear. Those who do not/cannot overcome anger will never overcome fear. (6/29/2008)
Where there is no change, there can be no growth. Where there is no growth, there can be no life. (6/10/2008)
No matter how brightly our light shines, we cannot make another person see it. The most we can do is to be that light at the end of their tunnel-vision. (12/13/2008)
If ego is the false self, what other than a false reality does it have to offer? (11/28/08)
At some point along the way, you will notice that your process of spiritual growth has changed from a quest of discovery to a discovery of knowing. (10/12/08)
When you take a real cynical view of things, the political and socioeconomic structure of this country makes a lot of sense. (9/01/08)
Anger is our first defense against fear. Those who do not/cannot overcome anger will never overcome fear. (6/29/2008)
Where there is no change, there can be no growth. Where there is no growth, there can be no life. (6/10/2008)
To speak ill of something without forethought is harmful. To speak ill of something with forethought is evil. (6/09/2008)
If we already ARE what we're striving to BE, how can we fail to BECOME? (5/26/2008)
Ego uses a lot of tricks to keep us from overcoming our self-imposed limitations. One of its favorites is to get us to feel good about ourselves when we think we're doing the "right" thing. Much of our spiritual growth is simply learning to overcome our thinking. (5/25/08)
If God gave mankind "free will," why can't we give it to each other? (5/18/08)
When expectations, hopes, desires, or goals become requirements they then become our masters and we are enslaved to them. (5/19/08)
We can never experience that which we view as external to us. (5/05/08)
When we're asked where we're from, we point to the stars because we have not yet learned how to point within. (4/12/08)
If you feel a need to justify your action(s) in any way, then ask yourself if you are acting in accordance with your true intent - your true desire. (4/06/08)
Controversy exists only when you view yourself from a perspective of duality. (3/13/08)
The greatest masters have all felt fear and self-doubt. It is by overcoming these that they have attained mastership. (2/23/08)
The most loving relationships are not based on fulfilling each other's needs but on being the impetus to help each other attain their greatest potential. This is true for all relationships - in romance, friendship, business, academics - in all walks of life. (2/23/08)
You need only recognize that which you already are so that you may more fully become what you are seeking to be. (2/20/08)
You will never find unlimited love or unlimited peace or unlimited joy looking for them from a perspective of limitation. (2/18/08)
Love another for the joy of loving them; never for any other reason. If you love any other because they validate, by any measure, your existence, then you have relinquished every measure of your own self-worth and power. No one on earth or in heaven is any greater than you are. (2/17/08)
No gift of love is ever wasted. (2/17/08)
If you think that anything is greater than, or more powerful than you are, then you have given away all your power to that which you think. (2/16/08)
What does it matter how wealthy or poor one is as long as he lives in joy? Too many people equate value with cost. They often believe that something free of charge is worthless; something expensive is valuable. What does it matter how much or little one charges for his services or whares if he is acting from his center of love and service to others? (2/07/08)
Any condition of being that is subject to change is a false reality. (1/05/2008)
Poverty is when you center yourself in the energies of lack and view challenges as struggles. Wealth is when you center yourself in the energies of abundance and view challenges as opportunities. (1/02/2008)
Wanting someone to be happy is not the same thing as caring for their happiness. "Want" for another's happiness is driven by ego for when the other finds happiness, who's desire is being fulfilled? (11/06/2007)
Love does not have to be reciprocated to be love. If reciprocation is a requirement or if love is traded for a favor or an object, then it has been made into nothing more than a tool of trade with no more value than what it is being traded for. (undated)
When the teacher is ready to learn, the student will appear to teach. (9/11/2007)
Most people believe that they feel at peace because they don't have any problems when just the opposite is true. (8/20/2007)
All emotions are merely the by-products of thought. (8/12/07)
When you see God as your equal is when you've come to fully integrate yourself with the All That Is. (8/11/07)
Knowledge is answering the questions. Wisdom is questioning the answers. Enlightenment is experiencing the wisdom. (8/10/07)
People are attached to the dramas of their lives because drama makes them feel alive. (8/06/07)
Too often, those who continually strive to achieve are not looking for achievement but rather, the recognition of it. (8/06/07)
The future exists only in our imagination. The past exists only in our memory. When you worry about the future or regret the past you cannot live in the present moment. Since there is no other moment to live in, how would you define your existence? (8/04/07)
For those who fear God but believe that God has given mankind free will, you have to ask who they really fear: God for the punishment or himself for making a "wrong" choice? (8/01/07)
We react to our perceptions and call it experience. We react to our experience and call it thought. We react to our thought and call it emotion. The only true reality is what is felt by spirit; undefinable but instantly recognizable and universally shared. (7/31/07)
I've often heard it said that there is a big difference between a journey to God and a journey in God. But, I have to ask, how is it possible to go to something that you're already in? (7/06/07)
Some people are as conscious of God as a fish is aware of the ocean. (undated)
When ego insists that we label ourselves, it is demanding that we limit ourselves. (4/28/07)
There is no control with acceptance, but there is power. (3/23/07)
In spiritual terms, we become what we know, not what we believe. We become what we have, not what we want. (3/15/07)
Our greatest sin is limiting the All Of Creation to our perceptions and understandings. (undated)
Our challenges are our challenges until we stop looking at them as such. (3/08/07)
You are as spiritual as you feel you are. (3/03/07)
Many people see that the world is controlled through the manipulation of power. Others see that it is controlled through the manipulation of sex. From the way most of humanity views these two issues, there isn't any difference. (2/11/07)
To find spiritual centeredness, one must overcome a belief system of duality. (1/31/07)
No one will ever get to heaven. However, for those who truly seek, heaven will most certainly come to them. (1/28/07)
Nothing exists without your consent. (1/23/07)
Those who feel powerless, resort to force. (undated)
The only truth is what is in your heart and for it, there is no proof other than you know it. So, speak your heart and say what you say with love. (undated)
You will never grow past the limitations you set for yourself. (12/08/04)
Purity is but another expression of Love.
To deny the existence of God is to deny the laws of physics.
The ends justify the means only when the means justify themselves.
Our every action is nothing more than a chosen response to our perceptions.
If you want the freedom of choice, you must also accept the responsibility of making choices.
Tolerance without prudence is complicity.
Your only fundamental freedom is your belief in yourself to succeed.
There is far more harm done through anger than through human error.
Uncertainty is a tool to open a lock rather than the lock itself.
It's not difficult to be remarkable if you believe in yourself.
The greatest act of obliteration is disbelief.
Revolutions start with whispers of discontent.
Mastery is the ability to make continued improvement.
Those who most fear death have least respected life.
Failure isn't a finish. It's a line to be crossed.
There are no exceptions to absolutes.
Laws will never apply to us unless we apply ourselves to them.
As our choices are chipped away, so is our power. When we point to external conditions or circumstances to validate our actions, we have voluntarily abdicated all our power.
The most difficult thing to argue is not undisputed authority, but unbridled ignorance.
Do not approach anyone with a problem in one hand without holding a possible solution or a willingness for resolution in the other.
Your own persistence is your only true indicator of your belief in yourself to succeed.
Our ability to reason through a problem is determined by the degree of value we place on its solution.
Guilt is the only weapon of control for which the victim determines the severity of force.
Bravery is not marked by a lack of fear but by the manner in which one faces it.
No home is too humble or too meager for friendship or Love.
Forgiveness is the key to ALL spiritual growth.
Having a sense of duty gives me a sense of honor.
Infinity and eternity can neither be measure nor divided.
Too many times our expectations get us into trouble. They not only open doors for disappointment, but also dictate our actions and reactions to events before we experience them.
As long as a person feels victimized, he will be a victim. As long as a person feels helpless, he will be powerless. As long as either condition exists, the world will continue to shit on him.
The objects of our angers are never the causes of them.
All true power is self-generated.
The soul hears only the voice of Love. Its only language is that of truth.
Choice is the only thing, and the every thing we have.
We identify ourselves in relationship to all else that exists.
By placing judgment on your own state of being, you create a point of reference from which you judge all other things.
The spiritual journey isn't a matter of going anywhere. It's a simple matter of Being there.
It has taken me many years to understand what I have come to know in an instant.
A person holds an image of God in his mind because he does not see God with his eyes.
Innocence is what remains when you have removed all guilt from your actions, words, and thoughts.
Joy is not happiness. Joy is a perpetual sense of well-being and freedom to express and receive Love.
Where there is no resistance, there can be no force.
Limitations exist to serve us.
We blind ourselves to all that IS because we blind ourselves to who we ARE.
The amount of fear we feel is in direct proportion to the amount of Love we block.
Avoiding fear isn't what keeps you from feeling afraid. Avoiding lies isn't what keeps you honest. Avoiding pain isn't what keeps you from feeling hurt. Avoidance only keeps you in denial.
Spiritual mission and progress are the same.
Both the controlled and the controller are equally tied to the traces.
Caring is not the same thing as having expectation born of desire, or desire born of expectation.
Spiritual connectivity is not limited by distance. It's determined by resonance.
Forgiveness is feeling with Love what you once felt with pain.
We live by intent. When our actions reflect our intent, we feel balanced and at peace.
Power is not the same thing as ability. Ability is your expression of a spiritual law. Power is your manner of being and knowing who you are.
Confusion is nothing more than an indication that your belief system is about to change.
When you deny responsibility, you limit freedom.
One must overcome the complex to conclude the simple.
You cannot do what you believe to be wrong.
Religions are made for people who have not yet developed a comfort level with a belief system greater than their egos.
You can only be who you are through expressing what you know to be true.
And the Word Is...
(I recommend not reading this post if you don't want to get sucked down into a rabbit hole).
We don't know we're looking at darkness unless we've seen light. We wouldn't know sorrow if we didn't know joy. Without a down, there can be no up. How did Adam and Eve know they were living in paradise if they'd never lived anywhere else or in any other condition to compare it to? In order to have an awareness of "I," one has to be able to perceive one's self as separate from whatever else might exist. So, if God (the All of Creation) is the all of everything, how does it know it is everything if there isn't a "nothing" or a non-everything to compare itself to? And what of the concept of "Am?" How would I know that I AM if I had never experienced an "I am NOT?"
I once thought I had the answer to this. I believed that the instant the All of Creation grasped the concept of "I AM," it fragmented. This is still a relatively naive or primitive concept because the All of Creation doesn't think - CAN'T think in order to simply fully accept its condition of existence. The concept of "I AM" seems to reflect a complete awareness of existence. It doesn't judge, label, limit, or value the condition of existence in any manner or to any degree. But still, I have to consider the "I" and the "AM" as opposed to what else?
We don't know we're looking at darkness unless we've seen light. We wouldn't know sorrow if we didn't know joy. Without a down, there can be no up. How did Adam and Eve know they were living in paradise if they'd never lived anywhere else or in any other condition to compare it to? In order to have an awareness of "I," one has to be able to perceive one's self as separate from whatever else might exist. So, if God (the All of Creation) is the all of everything, how does it know it is everything if there isn't a "nothing" or a non-everything to compare itself to? And what of the concept of "Am?" How would I know that I AM if I had never experienced an "I am NOT?"
I once thought I had the answer to this. I believed that the instant the All of Creation grasped the concept of "I AM," it fragmented. This is still a relatively naive or primitive concept because the All of Creation doesn't think - CAN'T think in order to simply fully accept its condition of existence. The concept of "I AM" seems to reflect a complete awareness of existence. It doesn't judge, label, limit, or value the condition of existence in any manner or to any degree. But still, I have to consider the "I" and the "AM" as opposed to what else?
I've come to see the error in my logic. Ironically, it's that it's logic. Thinking is an act of ego, regardless of how kind, loving, compassionate, all-encompassing, or enlightening the thoughts might be. They're still thoughts.
"I am, therefore I think."
"I think, therefore I am."
Thinking requires an awareness of self which requires the acknowledgment of the condition that non-self exists. This is the basis of duality - the basis of all fragmentation. Fragmentation is ego. Ego is nothing more than fragmentation. Since, in my belief system, God isn't fragmented, then God has no thought and isn't aware that it has no thought. Using this rationale, one can consider that God is more a condition of "Not" than a condition of "Is."
As I ponder the condition of thinking, I come to understand the necessity of duality - of ego. In order for me to understand that which IS, I must also be able to grasp the concept of that which is NOT. But, is this embracing and accepting the condition of ego or merely rationalizing its existence? As I more fully ponder the condition of thinking, I come to understand that all one must do is BE.
God IS.
Problem solved. Fragmentation, duality, ego, become moot, especially when I stop thinking about them. Right?
Wrong.
I have to ask, what created the condition of existence to begin with? OR, is existence merely a concept of the mind?
4/13/2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Enigma
In the eyes of the foolish
a fool am I.
In the eyes of the wise
a sage.
In the eyes of the old and young alike
I'm forever without age.
In the eyes of the pure
I'm innocence.
In the eyes of evil I'm flawed.
In the eyes of those who seek their truth
they see in me their god.
You see what you know.
You don't know what you see.
You seek to remember, not learn.
And those who've seen the truth of me
for more of the truth they'll yearn.
If I'm without end
both forward and back
for all eternity,
then how can you say
with faith and belief
I ever started
to BE?
(c) 2/24/2005
Ronnie Carroll
a fool am I.
In the eyes of the wise
a sage.
In the eyes of the old and young alike
I'm forever without age.
In the eyes of the pure
I'm innocence.
In the eyes of evil I'm flawed.
In the eyes of those who seek their truth
they see in me their god.
You see what you know.
You don't know what you see.
You seek to remember, not learn.
And those who've seen the truth of me
for more of the truth they'll yearn.
If I'm without end
both forward and back
for all eternity,
then how can you say
with faith and belief
I ever started
to BE?
(c) 2/24/2005
Ronnie Carroll
Friday, April 11, 2008
Common Sense Spirituality
I recently read a review of a J.Z. Knight/Ramtha video in which the reviewer wrote that Ramtha's teachings are more common sense than true spirituality. I mentally asked, "What is spirituality if not common sense? Would it be uncommon sense or would it be common senselessness?
Why is there such an air of magic and mystery attached to spiritualism? Why is it that only swamis can time travel, or monks levitate? Why has Jesus been the only human known to have walked on water? For the past 2,000 years, why hasn't anyone else been confirmed as having done this?
I have my own theory that Jesus did none of the mystical things he is reported to have done, but if he were alive today, with training and practice, he might be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat (given the right hat). The tales about Jesus were merely tales designed to "wow" the masses into perceiving him as a great man; into believing that one has to be specially endowed by a selective god to be spiritual. Again, from my perspective, Jesus needs no embellishments for me to see him as a great man. He was profoundly wise, Divinely guided, tremendously compassionate, loving and giving with a terrific sense of humor. But, this description fits many people I know today. What makes Jesus any more spiritual than any of the modern day spiritualists?
Nothing.
All of us can be like that. At the very least, we each have our moments. When I was a pre-teen, I was introduced to a Ouija Board. I played with it once or twice but quickly lost interest in it. I have a crystal that I've used for divination a few times. But, it has hung in my home in its special place for many months undisturbed. I have a set of Celtic Rune stones and an interpretation book for them. I used them once and put them away. I've dabbled with Tarot cards, drumming, Wicca ritual, healing power of stones, aura reading, color and music therapy and numerology. Nothing has ever captivated me and I've often asked myself throughout my life, "why?" What am I missing, or what is missing in me that doesn't allow me to attach to any of these forms of expression?
Again, the answer is "nothing."
I had known intuitively for many years, but hadn't wanted to believe, that spirituality isn't found in anything external. The source of all true power, all true peace, love, joy, and all true spirituality is within each of us. Ouija boards, drums, stones, cards, and crystals merely reflect who we are inside and can perhaps help us identify what we're experiencing on a subconscious level. But, these things are only tools of spirituality. They're not the spirituality themselves. I've often said that just because I know how to drive a nail, doesn't make me a carpenter. Just because someone can foretell future events, or read tea leaves, or cast spells and charms doesn't make them any more spiritual than you or me. So, what's the harm in using these things for seeing spirituality? Nothing. What's the harm in using them as a substitute for turning within to our source?
Everything.
When we view spirituality as external to ourselves, we create our own separation from it. As long as we keep ourselves separate from it, we can never "have" it. In my growth, I've come to see that attaining spirituality isn't at all about learning how to do it or working on becoming a certain way. Quite the contrary, it's about un-learning our programming and how to simply BE who we truly are. I like to think of attaining spirituality as nothing more than stripping away my filters or layers of ego that keep me from seeing and experiencing my natural, true self. Every time I remind myself of that, I instantly get a feeling of being a bit more spiritual or closer to that core of truth than I was an instant before. We are only as spiritual as we feel we are.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We need only to turn within to tap into the all-knowing, all seeing, all creative magnificence of who we naturally are. Therein in lies our truth and therein lies the common sense of spirituality.
Why is there such an air of magic and mystery attached to spiritualism? Why is it that only swamis can time travel, or monks levitate? Why has Jesus been the only human known to have walked on water? For the past 2,000 years, why hasn't anyone else been confirmed as having done this?
I have my own theory that Jesus did none of the mystical things he is reported to have done, but if he were alive today, with training and practice, he might be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat (given the right hat). The tales about Jesus were merely tales designed to "wow" the masses into perceiving him as a great man; into believing that one has to be specially endowed by a selective god to be spiritual. Again, from my perspective, Jesus needs no embellishments for me to see him as a great man. He was profoundly wise, Divinely guided, tremendously compassionate, loving and giving with a terrific sense of humor. But, this description fits many people I know today. What makes Jesus any more spiritual than any of the modern day spiritualists?
Nothing.
All of us can be like that. At the very least, we each have our moments. When I was a pre-teen, I was introduced to a Ouija Board. I played with it once or twice but quickly lost interest in it. I have a crystal that I've used for divination a few times. But, it has hung in my home in its special place for many months undisturbed. I have a set of Celtic Rune stones and an interpretation book for them. I used them once and put them away. I've dabbled with Tarot cards, drumming, Wicca ritual, healing power of stones, aura reading, color and music therapy and numerology. Nothing has ever captivated me and I've often asked myself throughout my life, "why?" What am I missing, or what is missing in me that doesn't allow me to attach to any of these forms of expression?
Again, the answer is "nothing."
I had known intuitively for many years, but hadn't wanted to believe, that spirituality isn't found in anything external. The source of all true power, all true peace, love, joy, and all true spirituality is within each of us. Ouija boards, drums, stones, cards, and crystals merely reflect who we are inside and can perhaps help us identify what we're experiencing on a subconscious level. But, these things are only tools of spirituality. They're not the spirituality themselves. I've often said that just because I know how to drive a nail, doesn't make me a carpenter. Just because someone can foretell future events, or read tea leaves, or cast spells and charms doesn't make them any more spiritual than you or me. So, what's the harm in using these things for seeing spirituality? Nothing. What's the harm in using them as a substitute for turning within to our source?
Everything.
When we view spirituality as external to ourselves, we create our own separation from it. As long as we keep ourselves separate from it, we can never "have" it. In my growth, I've come to see that attaining spirituality isn't at all about learning how to do it or working on becoming a certain way. Quite the contrary, it's about un-learning our programming and how to simply BE who we truly are. I like to think of attaining spirituality as nothing more than stripping away my filters or layers of ego that keep me from seeing and experiencing my natural, true self. Every time I remind myself of that, I instantly get a feeling of being a bit more spiritual or closer to that core of truth than I was an instant before. We are only as spiritual as we feel we are.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We need only to turn within to tap into the all-knowing, all seeing, all creative magnificence of who we naturally are. Therein in lies our truth and therein lies the common sense of spirituality.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Divani Tabriz
I asked as I drew near;
and I approached him slowly, closer
to ensure that I would hear
his words soft spoken from his place
perched atop a stool,
I said, "Is there a formula to use
or some unchanging rule?
When does one attain that end?"
And I looked him in the eyes.
"Can a Master walk among the living
or must he wait until he dies?"
My teacher sat cross-legged
and he gazed with deep intent
then chose his words, at length with care
to convey just what he meant.
"There are Masters living now
and walking on the earth.
Old or young, it matters not
in cycles of death and birth.
You seek not to discover
how to do the things we do,
but rather seek to verify
if what you know is true."
He clasped his hands upon his lap
and with the breath he drew,
prepared to tell me what he'd learned
and through the centuries knew.
"When you can taste desire
and not give in to need;
when you can have your every wish
and not be ruled by greed;
when you're awash in deep despair
and yet not drown in grief;
when emotions seize and pummel you
and still you find relief;
when you can face what's just and cruel
with equal strength and grace,
when you're challenged by the impossible
yet you never break your pace;
when pleasures beckon you to stray
from the path you strive to keep
but you won't be caught by ego's lures
or lost to what you seek.
When others destroy in fear and pain
the sacred and the true,
you'll be a Master if you give love
with all you say and do.
The R's of Acceptance
The entire city seemed to be sleeping at
He didn’t pause to check out the panel of lights and buttons that directed the elevator through its dutiful rounds. The doors snicked shut and with another sudden lurch, we were on our way. But, the non-stop service ended abruptly soon. With an ominous bump, the elevator shuddered to a halt midway between floors. There was no sound of grinding gears or cables to indicate that the elevator was even trying to complete its rounds. Like a rising tide, the pitch darkness of the elevator shaft rose through the glass of the elevator doors until it met the floor of the well lit hallway whose tiles were at eye level.
“That’s just great!” I groaned, knowing that my best attempts for an early start would be entirely wasted. I punched every button on the console and watched them light up one after another. No response. “Shit!”
My companion’s only response was to slide down the back wall and lower himself to a cross-legged sit, keeping his nose buried in his book. The odd thing I noticed was that he’d never turned a page. As if reading my thoughts, he smiled briefly to himself and turned a page. Being stuck might have been amusing to him but I had things to do and I didn’t want to waste a sunny Saturday standing in an elevator with a stranger. I checked my watch –
“You’re putting the wrong R in acceptance,” the man said softly, never breaking his gaze from his book.
“Excuse me?” I frowned. ‘Acceptance’ had no R’s.
The man closed his book on his index finger to mark his place and, at last, glanced up at me. Deep brown eyes that seemed to perpetually smile gazed into mine. His lips parted and curved upward revealing one gold tooth surrounded by a full set of even, white teeth. “Resistance,” he whispered. “Where there is resistance, there cannot be full acceptance.”
“What if I don’t want to ‘accept’ that the stupid elevator broke down?”
“That is your choice, but without acceptance of the moment, one cannot fully live in the moment. Since there is no other moment to live in, how would you define your existence?”
By habit, I crossed my arms over my chest so that I could do something with them while I pondered his question. I immediately uncrossed them. I didn’t want to give the appearance that I was closed to his thoughts. He intrigued me and, I had to admit, he was right.
“Yeah,” I finally said with a heavy sigh. “The elevator broke down and I can’t fix it. Someone will eventually come along and pull us out of the jam.”
“Resignation,” he said. He placed his book face down on the floor, leaving it open at the page he’d been reading. I winced. Although it was a hardbound book, the treatment of it put a strain on the binding. I studied the book a moment and noticed that the plain leather cover and spine bore no print; no title, no author’s name – nothing. “What kind of energies do you attract and dwell in when you align yourself with helplessness?” He continued. “Are you not becoming a victim of circumstance? Who’s energy created the circumstance to begin with?” He paused to allow me a moment of thought. “Are you not then becoming a victim of your own set of choices?”
I understood the law of attraction well enough to know that I didn’t cause the elevator to break down but that I was, in fact, responding to my own energetic creation by choosing to step onto the elevator at the time it would malfunction. I was responding to my own energies by choosing my emotional reaction to the circumstance. If neither resistance nor resignation allowed acceptance of the moment, what did?
“This is giving me the opportunity to think,” I admitted with a smile. “I wouldn’t have had this experience had the elevator not broken down. I can understand it now.”
“Rationalization,” he said, picking up his book to resume his reading.
I suddenly felt like scribbling all over the pages of his precious book. I held my silence, knowing that if I said anything, he’d find something wrong with my logic. I hated being backed into a corner, especially in an elevator where I had nowhere to run.
“All rationalization,” he said, “is based on thought. No matter how logical it is or how good it makes us feel or how thoroughly it vindicates our actions – or lack of them, it is still dependent on external conditions. In order to rationalize, we have to label and judge things. Right. Wrong. Good. Bad. Those are only personal values based on perception. All values are dependent on all external things being as they are in relation to what’s being judged.”
“So, what R would you put in acceptance?” I challenged.
His answer was immediate. “Release.” Without another word he resumed his reading.
I supposed I’d be just as nonchalant about the whole thing if I had a good book to read. “What are you reading?” I finally asked, not out of any real curiosity, but as a way to break the boredom and the stifling silence.
“I’m reading the greatest wisdom by the greatest spiritual master who has ever lived – or will ever live for that matter.”
There had been hundreds throughout the ages and we each had our personal favorite. “Who?” I asked.
“See for yourself,” he said, handing the book up to me.
The pages were blank. I thumbed through the book both forward and backward and discovered that all the pages were blank. “I don’t understand,” I said, returning the book. I could understand a book of blank pages in which someone kept a journal of their thoughts but there was absolutely nothing printed, typed, or written in the book anywhere.
“You’ve heard the saying many times that it’s not what’s written but what’s between the lines that counts. This book contains everything that’s between the lines. It holds whatever the reader wants to focus on. When you focus on something, regardless of what it is, you detach from the energies of whatever surrounds you and you draw into the energies of yourself, deep within. That’s meditation and it serves you by helping you release or detach from the energies of whatever false reality you thought was so important. You release your desires of what you want, intend, or expect to do. You release your worries of the future – of a time that exists only in your imagination. You release your regrets of the past – of a time that exists only in your memory. You release your emotions and your attachment to the drama of them. This is acceptance.
“It’s ironic though,” he paused and smiled softly again. “We think of acceptance as taking or receiving something that’s offered when acceptance is nothing more than letting go. Without fully letting go, we cannot receive. Through release we find acceptance.”
“Does your book say anything about how to release anger so I can accept the moment?”
“Of course it does.”
Yeah, right, I thought. The book’s pages were blank.
“You read it yourself a moment ago,” he added when he saw the disbelief in my eyes. He flipped to a page, apparently at random, used his finger to mark the imaginary words, and offered the book back up to me. He’d lost his mind, and my own was scampering away quickly enough because there I stood peering into the book as if it really did have something valid to say. “Let me ask you something,” he said as he reclaimed his book and snapped it shut. “When you were focused on the page, searching for something to read, what did you feel?”
“I guess I was still angry because the elevator is stuck.”
“Oh? Think again. For the moment, however brief it was, when you were looking at the book, did you feel angry?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “I guess not.”
“It is impossible for the human brain to think more than one thought at a time. So while you were focused on the energies of the book, you had released the energies of anger – of resistance, and had accepted the moment and every condition of it.”
He was right, I thought. I spent a moment reliving the energies of letting go and realized, even as I pondered the memory of the situation that I was accepting it. Just as I began to grasp the full essence of it, the elevator lunged into action again and resumed its glide to the first floor. I instinctively turned to face the doors, ready to step out as soon as they opened. I checked my watch to see how long we’d been stuck and then puzzled over the time as I watched the second hand tick around the face in uninterrupted perpetuum. My watch said
“That’s funny,” I said. “I think my watch stopped for as long as we were stuck. Do you have the ti--?” I turned to face my companion but he was gone. He had disappeared.
I spun to my right and then my left and then turned a full 360 degrees just in case he was ducking and diving behind me to avoid detection. A cool tingle spread up my spine then down my back and legs. I was entirely alone. The elevator hadn’t stopped for any length of time at all according to my watch.
I chalked up the experience to imagination; but what was the difference? It was my experience. As I turned again to face the doors, patiently waiting open, I glimpsed a piece of paper lying on the floor. It was blank and appeared to be a loose page that had fallen from a book of blank pages. With reverence, I picked it up and folded it to slip it into my purse. As I made the final crease, I thought I glimpsed in tiny print, the wisdom of the ages.
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