My journey began with doubt.
Rene Descartes said, "If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things."
I was raised in the Unity Church; never clinging to the dogmatic rituals of Christianity, but accepting its tenets. I couldn't have been more than 9 years old when my belief system - or rather, my thought system began to change. I no longer viewed Jesus as the Son of God. From my perspective, at the time, he was more like the son of the devil; an impostor and a fraud and representing all that was truly ignoble in mankind. I was so uncomfortable with the image of The Christ that I couldn't even speak his name, nor could I look anyone in the eye when they said the name, "Jesus."
I carried that image into my early 20's when I began thinking for myself. After grappling with a lot of guilt about it, I concluded that Jesus wasn't all bad. After all, how many millions throughout the ages lived their lives in homage to, or seeking the grace of The Christ?
So, o.k., I finally admitted that Jesus was a good man; if nothing more than a wise and wonderful prophet. I was comfortable with this image not because it was what I was taught to believe, but was what I came to feel in my heart on my own terms. This image stayed with me well into my 40's until it began to change yet again.
Today, I have an image of Jesus that's far different than what the typical Christian icon presents. I've often thought about what his physical characteristics would be - having been born a Mediterranean Jew, and what his personality would be like, having lived in a society and country oppressed by Roman occupation.
But, I've come to see that my images of the man mean nothing. What matters is how I feel in my heart. Can the same be true for the vast majority of today's American Christian populace? How many people would still see Jesus as the Son of God if they were shown an image of him as an olive-skinned man with a hook nose and an unruly, unkempt tangle of black wavy or curly hair, who might be a bit hollow-cheeked from a poor diet?
From all this, I've asked myself, "What do people love more; Jesus the man, or their image of Jesus as a man? The same question applies to God. Do we worship God or merely the image we hold of God? Are our beliefs nothing more than glorified thoughts? What is the dividing line between a belief system and a thought system? Is there a dividing line at all?
Over the years, I've held many beliefs. In recent years, I've come to experience many spiritual truths. Each truth I experience becomes, in part, who I AM. These truths are as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the sound of my voice. I no longer have to "believe in" them. Belief is not an option. So, when I ask myself if I believe in God, my answer is "no." What I have come to experience goes far beyond what any amount of belief could ever hope to achieve.
What do you believe? What have you come to know? How has it made you who you are?
Rene Descartes said, "If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things."
I was raised in the Unity Church; never clinging to the dogmatic rituals of Christianity, but accepting its tenets. I couldn't have been more than 9 years old when my belief system - or rather, my thought system began to change. I no longer viewed Jesus as the Son of God. From my perspective, at the time, he was more like the son of the devil; an impostor and a fraud and representing all that was truly ignoble in mankind. I was so uncomfortable with the image of The Christ that I couldn't even speak his name, nor could I look anyone in the eye when they said the name, "Jesus."
I carried that image into my early 20's when I began thinking for myself. After grappling with a lot of guilt about it, I concluded that Jesus wasn't all bad. After all, how many millions throughout the ages lived their lives in homage to, or seeking the grace of The Christ?
So, o.k., I finally admitted that Jesus was a good man; if nothing more than a wise and wonderful prophet. I was comfortable with this image not because it was what I was taught to believe, but was what I came to feel in my heart on my own terms. This image stayed with me well into my 40's until it began to change yet again.
Today, I have an image of Jesus that's far different than what the typical Christian icon presents. I've often thought about what his physical characteristics would be - having been born a Mediterranean Jew, and what his personality would be like, having lived in a society and country oppressed by Roman occupation.
But, I've come to see that my images of the man mean nothing. What matters is how I feel in my heart. Can the same be true for the vast majority of today's American Christian populace? How many people would still see Jesus as the Son of God if they were shown an image of him as an olive-skinned man with a hook nose and an unruly, unkempt tangle of black wavy or curly hair, who might be a bit hollow-cheeked from a poor diet?
From all this, I've asked myself, "What do people love more; Jesus the man, or their image of Jesus as a man? The same question applies to God. Do we worship God or merely the image we hold of God? Are our beliefs nothing more than glorified thoughts? What is the dividing line between a belief system and a thought system? Is there a dividing line at all?
Over the years, I've held many beliefs. In recent years, I've come to experience many spiritual truths. Each truth I experience becomes, in part, who I AM. These truths are as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the sound of my voice. I no longer have to "believe in" them. Belief is not an option. So, when I ask myself if I believe in God, my answer is "no." What I have come to experience goes far beyond what any amount of belief could ever hope to achieve.
0 comments:
Post a Comment